Faces
by SilverMidnight52
Summary: Sam, Dean, and Castiel are taking a little break after Sam's secrets came out. Dean calls in Bobby to help him find out how to help Sam. Sam has to relive what happened to him throughout the years. Could this end badly for everyone? Sequel to 'Voices'.
1. Chapter 1

_Good morning Sam._

"Hello Cas," I said my eyes locking on the roof.

_What are you and Dean doing today?_

"We're supposed to go get furniture for the living room," I said sighing, "But you know how Dean is. So I'll probably be going alone."

_Would you like some company?_

"Could you?" I said getting excited.

It had been almost a week since Cas and I had last seen each other. Everyday we had been talking, but it wasn't the same now that I had seen him. I wished I had him in my arms again.

_Yes, I can come and see you._

"Great," I said sitting up, "When will you be down?"

"Now," Cas said from behind me.

Turning around I looked at Cas and smiled happily. He looked the same as when I last saw him, but something in his eyes had changed. Something that I wanted to get to know.

"Hey," I said breathlessly.

Every time I saw Cas it felt like my heart had stopped completely and I couldn't breathe. I placed my hand on Cas's cheek and shivered as I felt his heat flow through my fingertips.

All I wanted was these feelings to never end. I never wanted to stop feeling like I could take on the world and not care if it ended as long as I was with Cas. Somehow it was okay when I was with him.

He was the only person that I didn't feel like I let down when I was around. No matter how much I cared about Dean I had let him down without even meaning to most of the time.

"Sam," Cas said knocking me out of my thoughts, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I said smiling, "I'm just thinking too much."

"Alright," he said nodding, "Shall we go?"

"Cas," I said looking down at myself, "Can I get dressed first?"

"Oh," he said looking at me too.

Smiling at Cas I stepped closer to him and kissed his lips softly. Cas placed a hand on my lower back and pressed closer to me. It felt like my head was spinning and I loved every moment of it.

"Sammy," Dean said opening the door, "Oh, sorry."

"It's okay," I said pulling away from Cas, "What's up?"

"I'm not going to be able to go shopping today," he said smirking, "I guess that's not going to be a problem though."

"No," I said rolling my eyes, "Cas is going to come with me. You just have to deal with what we get."

"Why not just send a picture of the furniture on your phone?" he asked cocking his eyebrow.

"Because that's no fun," I said laughing, "You'll just have to deal."

Dean glared at me slightly before leaving my room. I turned back to Cas and saw him staring at me while smiling. He had such a peaceful look on his face that I didn't want to ruin it.

I took Cas's hand and lead him to my bed. Laying down I wrapped my arms around his waist and brought him closer to me. He rested his head on my shoulder and looked up at me.

My hand seemed to move on it's own as I brushed his hair from his face. He was so beautiful. I couldn't believe how lucky I had gotten having him protect me from myself all these years.

"I thought we were going shopping," Cas said slightly confused.

"We are," I said locking my eyes with his.

"We're laying on your bed," he said softly.

"I know," I said nodding.

"Then we are not shopping?" he asked cocking an eyebrow.

"We will," I said calmly, "In a while. I want to feel you in my arms for as long as I can."

"Okay," he said closing his eyes.

I smiled softly and placed a kiss to the top of his hair before shutting mine as well. Taking a few deep breaths I relished in the fact that I was completely surrounded by Cas. His scent and his heat had filled me to the rim.

Hearing a soft sigh I opened my eyes and looked down at Cas. He was staring at me with love and trust in his eyes. I opened my mouth to say something, but I was stopped by his lips linking with mine.

A soft moan slipped from between mine as he pressed so close to me that there was no room left. I placed my hands on his hips and pulled him so he was laying on me completely.

"Hey guys," Dean said opening the door again, "Wow, didn't need to see that."

"Then knock," I said glaring at him.

"I'll keep that in consideration," he said smirking, "I'm ordering pizza. Was wondering if you were going to be here for that."

"Cas," I said carding a hand through his hair, "What do you think?"

"You are hungry," Cas said placing a hand on my stomach, "We'll stay so you can eat."

"Okay," I said nodding, "Be down in a sec."

"Sure," Dean said laughing.

Dean left my room laughing his head off. I was tempted to throw a pillow at him, but I was too content with having Cas in my arms to care. I didn't want him to move away from me yet.

"Sam," Cas said softly, "You must get dressed now."

"Okay," I said sighing.

Cas climbed off of me and let me get up. Once I was up he sat back on the bed and waited. I smiled at him before going to my closet and taking out some clothes from within.

It was weird to not be staying in a motel, but I loved it at the same time. Living here wasn't the apple pie life that I had thought I wanted, but I did have everything I needed.

Dean was in the living room probably watching television or cleaning our weapons. Cas was sitting on my bed watching me get dressed. I had my family with me and it was exactly what I needed.

Once I was completely dressed I offered Cas my hand and pulled him up. With our hands linked together we walked from my room to the living room. Where Dean was cleaning some guns.

"Hey Sammy," Dean said smirking, "I see you and Cas stopped groping long enough for you to get dressed."

"Yeah," I said nodding, "Anyway, needed a change of scenery."

Dean gave me a confused look as I said that. Smirking I grabbed Cas's coat and drug him closer to me. I pressed my lips to his and let them mold together until I heard Dean clear his throat.

"Okay," Dean said loudly, "I get it."

Pulling away from Cas I grinned happily at Dean and sat down on the couch. Cas sat next to me and took my hand in his again. I moved around until I was facing him and started to play with his hand.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Dean smile ever so slightly. I knew that he was happy that I had finally found someone like Cas. Cas was good for me. I wanted to make him happy and proud.

A knock on the door signaled Dean to put the gun down and get up. He went to the door, but when he got back he wasn't holding the pizza like I expected. Instead Bobby was standing next to him.

"Bobby," I said surprised, "What are you doing here?"

"Got a message from Dean," Bobby said sitting down in a chair, "Said we needed to talk."

I stared at Dean with wide eyes and wondered exactly what he had told Bobby. Dean calmly looked back at me and let out a sigh. I had thought that it was over now, but I guess I was wrong.

"I don't know what Dean's been telling you Bobby," I said dropping Cas's hand, "But…"

"So you're not hurting yourself?" Bobby said cutting me off, "Because with how Dean was talking this conversation should have happened years ago."

I opened my mouth to argue back, but I knew that I couldn't. This should have happened years ago and I couldn't blame them for doing everything in their power to make sure it wouldn't happen again.

Standing up I started to pace the room. I made sure that I wasn't looking at anyone as I started to go through all the years of self-abuse I did. It wasn't that I expected it all to go away once Cas was back, but I did hope to have a rest before talking about it again.

"Okay," I said softly, "What do you want to know?"

"Everything," Dean said calmly.

"Sit down," I said shaking my head, "This is going to take a long time."

"Yeah," Bobby said crossing his arms.

"Umm," I said looking around, "I don't know where to start. Just ask some questions and I'll answer them the best I can."

"Sure," Bobby said nodding.

"Let me get some beers first," Dean said going to the kitchen.


	2. Chapter 2

I own nothing. Hehe, I finished my first original story. Yay me! Enjoy!

* * *

"Talk Sam," Bobby said once Dean was back.

"It was a long time ago," I said sighing, "Right after my first hunt. I messed up and Dad pointed it out. He spent almost an hour yelling at me. I had gone to my room to practice with some knives. The first cut was accident. Then I noticed that it took my mind off of what Dad said. So, I hid a knife under my bed."

Dean's eyes widened when he remembered the incident. He almost ended up in the hospital that night. We were lucky that he only got a small cut on his forehead when he got thrown into a wall.

He heard Dad yelling at me and an hour after Dad had left me to go into his room Dean came into my room. For almost three hours he sat next to me watching me pretend to sleep.

"I swore that I wasn't going to do it again," I said shaking my head, "Then we were researching the next hunt. I was trying so hard to make Dad proud and figure everything out, but I was always one step behind him. He told me to go to bed and he would figure everything out. I know that time he wasn't mad at me, but I felt sick. I went to my room and got the knife out again."

Looking around the room I saw Cas sitting calmly, I had already told him all of this when we first met. He was the first one to find out anything about me and I had thought I had lost him completely years ago.

Bobby was staring at me with a blank face, he didn't look angry just a little disappointed and I didn't know who that was directed at. He knew how harsh Dad could be to me, but I loved Dad anyway. I just didn't agree with him in what he did.

Then there was Dean. His eyes were shut tightly and his hands were rolled into fists. The last time I saw him like this was when Dad died. I hated that I was the one that was making him look like this time.

"Dean," I said looking at him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Dean said looking at me.

"You like hunting Dean," I said shrugging, "What was I supposed to do? If I told you then you would have done everything to stay by my side. I couldn't take hunting away from you."

"So hurting yourself was better?" he said standing up, "Tell me how many times did you try to kill yourself?"

"Don't make me answer that," I said looking away.

"Tell me," he said glaring, "How many times have you tried to kill yourself?"

Dean and I stared at each other until I stood up and walked away. I was standing in front of the wall. I tried to take a deep breath and calm down, but instead I punched the wall as hard as I could.

Cas was instantly by my side taking my hand in his. I shrugged him off and looked at Dean. He was looking at the wall behind my head. I looked back and saw that I had punched a hole in the wall.

"Seven times Dean," I said angrily, "Seven times. The first them when I was thirteen, after Cas left and the last time was six days ago. I told you that I was going to go the library to look things up about the case."

"Tell me," he said standing next to me.

"I was scared that Cas wanted me away from you," I said running a hand through my hair, "Once I got away from you guys I went to the hotel room. I grabbed a knife. Cut my wrist."

"That's why I left so suddenly," Cas said placing a hand on my back, "He was losing blood too quickly for me to wait."

Dean moved so he was in front of me and grabbed my arms. My whole body was screaming to run before he hit, but I stood my ground. I was tired of running from everything.

I didn't expect for Dean's arms to pull me into a hug. The hug was tight like Dean wanted to get it in my head that he was there and I wasn't going anywhere. He was always better at showing his feelings then saying them.

"I'm sorry Dean," I said softly.

"I know," Dean said pulling away, "I'm sorry too. I should have protected you from this."

"You can't protect me from feelings," I said shaking my head, "No matter how much I want you to."

"So, I get to protect you again?" he asked calmly, "Because I haven't been for awhile. At least not well."

"Yeah," I said nodding, "You get to protect me again. Not that you need my permission."

"Damn right I don't," he said smirking.

"Anything else we need to know so this can stop?" Bobby said cutting in.

"I don't think so," I said shaking my head, "I think I told you it all."

"Okay," he said standing up, "Let's get some food then."

"The pizza should be here by now," I said looking at the clock.

"It would help if I call them," Dean said taking his cell phone out of his pocket.

Laughing I shook my head and sat back down. I let my whole body relax and shut my eyes. Feeling a hand on mine I opened and saw Cas staring at my hand in deep concentration.

I placed my hand on his chin and lifted his head until he was staring at me. Smiling softly I leaned forward and kissed him He moved closer to me and wrapped his arms around my neck.

Cas pulled away from me and rested his head on my chest. I started to run a hand through his hair relishing the fact that he was here with me. I had missed him since the last time I had him in my arms.

It was hard to believe that I had fallen so far in love with Cas in such a short time. Well, I guess it wasn't a short time. I had been in love with him since I was thirteen. I just never thought I would be with him like this.

Now here he was. His head resting on my chest. I could feel his breathing on my neck. Our hands were linked on the couch. This whole thing was just perfect for the time being.

I didn't know how long it was going to be before something happened to take him away from me and I didn't want to think about it. Though the thoughts ran through my mind.

"I'm not leaving," Cas said in a whisper, "I don't care what I have to do. I won't leave you Sam."

"I hope," I said squeezing his hand.

Cas stood up and pulled me up with him. I stared at him in confusion as we walked outside. We continued to walk until we were pretty far away from the house and away from everyone.

"Cas," I said looking around, "What's going on?"

"I want to show you something," Cas said slowly.

"What is it?" I asked confused.

I watched Cas take a deep breath before pulling me closer. He stared up at me and placed a hand on the side of my face. A smile tugged on my lips as he leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine.

Closing my eyes I wrapped my arms around his waist. We stood there kissing until it was hard to breathe. I pulled away and hugged him to me. His head rested on my shoulder as his lips pressed against my neck.

Moaning I ran a hand up Cas's back and through his hair. Pressing his head closer to my neck I realized how much I loved the feeling of lips against my skin. It was the best feeling I had ever felt.

"There," Cas said in my ear, "That's what I was going to show you. I love you Sam. I don't know what to do to prove to you that I'm not going to leave you. I never want to hurt you like that again."

"Cas," I said slowly, "I love you too."

Cas smiled at me and linked both of our hands together. He place one set of hands on his chest and the other on mine. They were placed directly over our hearts and I could feel them beating.

They weren't beating in time, but in a rhythm that was making a song. It was amazing how perfect everything was falling in place for us. I thought that the world was going to be against us from the start.

Now, everything was working perfectly and it was the best feeling in the world. I hadn't lied to Dean when I said that I loved Cas more then I had loved Jess. I loved him so much more.

Of course I still loved Jess. I was in love with her and I still love her. Cas, was a different type of love though. Jess never knew about what I had done to myself over the years. I didn't want to worry her.

Cas knew everything about me. It was like I never had to explain what I meant when I was talking to him. He just already knew how I felt and what I meant about everything.

"Come on," Cas said tugging on me, "Let's get back."

"Okay," I said as we walked home.

While we walked I thought about all that could happen with the two of us. I wanted so much more from Cas. I didn't know exactly what he wanted to get from me though.

Somehow I was going to make all of this work. Screw the apocalypse. Forget Lucifer and Michael. I didn't know what was going to happen, but whatever it was I wasn't going to let Cas leave.

"I won't leave," Cas said opening the door.


	3. Chapter 3

I own nothing. I don't know if this turned out good...Eek! I hope you like it. Enjoy!

* * *

"Hey Sammy," Dean said sitting across from me at the kitchen table, "I thought you and Castiel were going to go get furniture yesterday."

"Yeah," I said nodding, "Then we had that whole thing with Bobby. We ended up just staying home the whole day."

"Go today then," he said grabbing my coffee.

"How do we even have the money for everything?" I asked looking around.

The house we were renting was a good size with two bedrooms. Dean had gotten the house without me and never told me how much it was to rent. Now he was having me buy all of these things for the house.

When we moved in there was no furniture in the house at all. The first night we spent sleeping in the Impala. I woke up the next day and Dean was in the living with a few folding chairs and a couch.

He told me to go into my room. I walked in there and a bed was set up. There were no sheets or anything yet, but it was a brand new bed. The same thing was in Dean's room.

"Don't worry about it Sammy," Dean said grinning, "Just enjoy it."

"I can't enjoy it when I know we don't have this kind of money," I said pointing at the coffee maker, "Just tell me where you got the money."

"Castiel," he said sighing, "He said that he knew that something like this was going to happen and had a bank account under my name when he was first put on your case."

I stared at Dean and felt my heart jump. Cas was looking out for me completely before he ever even really met me. It was so weird knowing how much he cared about me when I hadn't known him back then.

Standing up I walked into my bedroom and saw Cas sitting on my bed. I smiled happily and kneeled in front of him. He stared at me in confusion until I pulled him down and pressed a kiss on his lips.

"What is going on Sam?" Cas asked when I pulled away.

"I just realized how much you take care of me," I said shrugging.

"Dean told you about the money," he said calmly, "I knew you would need it Sam."

"Yeah," I said nodding, "It's just that with the whole hurting myself thing and how you took care of me. I love you so much Cas."

"I know," he said combing a hand through my hair, "And I love you too."

I rested my head on Cas's knee before standing up. Offering Cas my hand I smiled as came into my arms. It felt like the most normal thing to have him there in my arms with me.

"How about we do that shopping we were going to do yesterday?" I said softly.

"Okay," Cas said nodding.

I linked our hands together and started to walk into the living room. Dean was sitting on the couch looking over Dad's journal. Next to the journal was the local newspaper.

I could tell that Dean was a little restless about not hunting. He was giving up so much already for me. This house was amazing already and we hadn't been hunting in days.

"Find a hunt?" I asked stopping in front of Dean.

"Yeah," Dean said slowly, "A spirit at a book store."

"Why don't we go check it out later?" I said calmly.

"Sure," he said smiling, "Sounds good."

Nodding my head I smiled at Dean before walking out of the house with Cas. As we walked into the town I realized that I could have asked Dean for the keys to the Impala, but I was fine with walking with Cas.

While we walked Cas and I were quiet for most of it. It wasn't that there was nothing to say, but that it was just nice having him near me. Having a whole day to just being with Cas was great.

It was a little weird since Cas didn't sleep, but he was getting into eating. Which was making all of us a little worried. We had no clue what was going on with Cas since he had been on Earth for so long.

I knew that it was hard for Cas to be down here since he was so used to being up in Heaven. Now he was getting used to being on Earth. I didn't know how he was going to deal with it.

"Why are you worried?" Cas asked squeezing my hand.

"You're becoming more human," I said softly.

"Yes," he said nodding.

"What's going to happen?" I said looking at him, "Are you going to be okay?"

"I don't know what's going to happen," he said shaking his head, "I'm the only one to do this. They only thing that can come is for me to fall completely."

"You can't do that," I said quickly, "You can't fall."

"It will be okay," he said soothingly, "We'll figure everything out."

"Okay," I said sighing.

Cas squeezed my hand again before smiling. I smiled back and directed us both into the store. As we walked around I tried to figure out what I was going to get. I wanted the house to be nice for everyone.

While we looked around Cas and I started to talk quietly to each other. Though I tired to focus mostly on looking for furniture Cas and I ended up joking around with each other.

Pushing Cas gently onto a couch I didn't expect him to pull me down with him. I laughed loudly and straddled his lap. A smile graced Cas's lips when I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Excuse me," a nervous voice said.

When I turned around I saw a teenage boy. His eyes were trained on the ground and he looked ready to run away. I smiled and rested against Cas's body. The boy's breath hitched before he shook his head.

"I'm sorry," the boy said softly, "I'm going to have to ask you to stop what you're doing."

"Can you look at me when you speak?" I asked wanting to see if I was right.

The boy took a deep breath and looked up. His pupils were larger then normal and his skin was slightly flushed. I smiled widely and got off of Cas's lap. Once I was off of him the boy looked down in shame.

"You okay, kid?" I asked softly.

"Yeah," he said nodding.

"Come on," I said motioning with my head, "Help us find some good furniture."

The boy smiled slightly and waited for Cas to stand up. He started to ask what we were looking for, but he made sure that he wasn't looking at us. I sighed before stopping and crossing my arms.

"I know something is wrong," I said calmly, "Tell me."

"I just had a bad day, sir," the boy said slowly, "This set comes with…"

"Then why don't you look at us?" I asked interrupting him.

"It's nothing, sir," he said sighing.

"Tell me and I'll stop talking," I said smirking.

"My dad keeps telling me how bad gay people are," he said shrugging, "That's all."

"No it's not," Cas said coming in the conversation, "You're gay."

"No I'm not," the boy said shaking his head.

"Ah," I said softly, "You're scared."

"I guess," he said running a hand through his hair.

"It's okay to be scared, kid," I said smiling, "Everything will be fine."

The boy smiled slightly at us. He looked slightly happy, but I could see that he was still confused and sad. This kid needed someone's help since he didn't have someone in his life already helping him.

"Don't you have someone to talk to?" I asked as we started to walk again.

"My English teacher used to help me," he said calmly, "But she retired last year."

"English teacher," I said slowly.

The boy nodded his head and started to walk around the store again. After walking around for awhile longer I bought the furniture we needed before leaving the store with Cas.

Before I got the furniture I found out a few more things about the boy. His name was Chris and went to the local high school. Which was still looking for an English teacher.

Cas and I left the store with me in deep thought. When I was in school I loved English and it was my best class. Now here was this boy that needed help and there was something I could do about it.

When we got to the house Dean was putting some weapons in a duffle bag. There was no chance that Dean would give up hunting and as long as he was hunting I would be with having his back.

"Hey Dean," I said calmly, "The furniture will be here tomorrow."

"Good," Dean said nodding.

"There was this kid working at the store," I said sitting on one of the chairs, "And he's gay."

"Cool," he said smiling.

"Sort of," I said sighing, "He's not ready to come out and he's dad is homophobic. I was thinking of helping him. The school needs an English teacher and I was hoping to get the job."

"Go for it, Dude," he said grinning, "Sounds like a good job. Now, the hunt."


	4. Chapter 4

I own nothing. Enjoy!

* * *

"Just like old times Sammy," Dean said with a laugh.

"Yup," I said smiling, "Us kicking ass and then running away from the scene."

I started to laugh along with Dean and remembered what made me actually agree to join hunting again. I missed having fun like this with Dean. Maybe it wasn't what everyone thought was normal, but it was our normal.

Before I wanted nothing but to run away from hunting. Now I might not like hunting as much as Dean, but I don't think I could stay away. There had to be a balance between the two of them.

"So that teaching job," Dean said starting the Impala.

"Yeah," I said nodding.

"Tell me more about it," he said slowly.

I couldn't help the smile that came to my lips when I realized what he was doing. Dean hated school when he went while I loved it completely. Now here I was trying to go back.

It meant a lot to me to trying to help this boy. I don't know why I was so convinced that I had to help him, but I did. This kid needed someone that knew what was going on and I did.

I had convinced myself that I wasn't in love with Cas. And it was one of the worst things I had ever felt. If I could help someone not feel that then I was going to do everything I could to help him.

Dean and I ended up talking all the way back to the house. It felt nice having a conversation with Dean that didn't involve me hurting myself or hunting. This is what I wanted.

Hunting and working at the same time. Living in one place. This way I could help people in different ways. It wasn't just killing demons and everything that goes bump in the night, but stopping people from hurting people at the same time.

"I get it Sam," Dean said pulling into the house, "You like helping people."

"Yeah," I said nodding.

"It's a good thing Sammy," he said smiling.

I smiled back and got out the car. It was around midnight when we finally got to the house. We had left for the hunt around ten. It was lucky that we had been able to solve the case pretty easily.

It felt good to have everything sort of back to normal. I just had to wait to make sure that this is what Dean wanted. Dean would give up a lot just to make me happy and I didn't know if he was faking it this time.

"Hey Cas," I said walking into the house.

"Hello," Cas said calmly, "How was the hunt?"

"It went well," I said nodding, "Dean was right. Just a regular spirit."

"Okay," he said standing up, "Are you tired?"

"Yeah," I said yawning, "I'm just going to take a shower first."

"I'll wait," he said going into my room.

I looked at Dean and saw that he looked just as confused as I felt. Something was going on with Cas and he wasn't telling us. A feeling of confusion and hurt surrounded me when I felt that.

"I'm going to go talk to him," I said softly.

"Yeah," Dean said nodding.

Walking into my room I shut the door behind me. I was staring at Cas as he sat o my bed. He was refusing to look at me. I sat next to him and moved so he was facing me completely.

Cas looked into my eyes before taking my hand and sighing. I couldn't get over how human he looked at that moment in time. It was like he wasn't an angel at all anymore.

"Cas," I asked slowly.

"I'm falling Sam," Cas said softly.

"How do you know?" I said confused.

"I know," he said calmly, "It's just something that I can feel."

"Cas," I said running a hand through his hair, "What's going to happen to you? To us?"

"I don't know," he said moving closer to me, "But we'll figure it out."

"Yeah," I said pulling him closer to me, "We have to. I can't lose you again."

Cas nodded his head and rested it on my chest. I wrapped an arm around his shoulders and kept him close to me. A fear ran through me when I thought of how I could lose him.

What was I supposed to do? Of course I didn't want to lose Cas, but I might not have a choice in the matter. That made me feel in worse. I hated when I didn't have control over things.

I didn't expect to be able to control everything that was happening. Losing Cas after just finding him though was not something I could sit back and watch as it happened to me.

"I'll find a way to get you to stay," I said firmly, "I'm not losing you."

"Sam," Cas said pulling away, "You might not have a choose in the matter. I know that you don't like that, but I will never truly be gone. I will protect you even if I do fall."

"I want to protect you too, Cas," I said softly, "And I haven't been able to."

"Don't Sam," he said smiling, "You're helping me more then you know. Who would be helping me with this whole human thing if it wasn't for you?"

"You wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for me," I said standing up, "It would have been better if you let me die before."

"No," he said quickly, "It wouldn't be better. Sam, I love you."

"I love you too," I said sadly, "That's the problem. Cas, you're falling from Heaven. And it's my fault."

"No," he said shaking his head, "It's mine."

"How is it your fault?" I asked cocking an eyebrow.

"You're not forcing me into this Sam," he said bringing me closer to him, "I want to be here. I want to be with you Sam."

"Why?" I said staring at him, "Why would you give up something as wonderful as being in Heaven to be with me?"

"Because I love you," he said making me look at him, "Yes, I'll be leaving Heaven, but I'll be gaining you."

Staring at Cas I tried to stop what was running through my head. I knew that Cas loved me so much, but he was giving up too much right now. I couldn't let him do this to himself.

I pulled away from Cas and turned away. No matter how much I loved Cas I wanted him to be happy. He wouldn't be happy if he settled for me. It wasn't right of me to ask him for this.

Cas took a step towards me, but I stepped back. I needed to think alone right now. I didn't know what I was supposed to do anymore with Cas. It was too much to handle right now.

Opening the door I walked out of the room. Cas followed me but didn't say anything. As much as I wanted him to stop me I hoped that he would just let me be alone at the same time.

"What's going on?" Dean asked confused.

"Nothing," I said grabbing my jacket.

"Sam," Cas said softly, "Don't leave."

"Stop," I said turning around, "Just stop."

"What's going on?" Dean repeated loudly.

"I'm falling," Cas said calmly.

"From Heaven?" he asked confused.

"Yes," I said angrily, "He's falling from Heaven and it's my fault. I'll be back later."

"No," Dean said grabbing my arm, "Talk this out. Right now."

"There's nothing to talk about," I said throwing my arms up, "Cas is falling Dean. What else is there to say?"

"You can't run away from this Sam," he said sighing, "This is too important for you to lose."

"If he falls then I've already lost him," I yelled angrily, "I can't lose him Dean. I can't lose you."

"You won't," Cas said soothingly, "I will do everything to make sure I don't leave you. Sam, I don't care if I fall. It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does," I said running a hand through my head, "It's like me trying to stop hunting. It doesn't work."

"Maybe it doesn't," he said stepping closer to me, "But I know what does work. Being here works. When I was up there I was confused. I didn't question anything out loud, but that doesn't mean I didn't question them. I like being here Sam. I want to be here."

I took a few deep breaths and looked toward him. Cas smiled hopefully and waited for me to make the next step. He didn't want to push me into a decision as big as this one.

"Okay," I said sighing, "Just promise to tell me what's going on?"

"Of course," Cas said smiling, "I won't keep anything about this from you."

Smiling I kissed Cas softly and sighed happily. Dean and Cas were right. Things were going to happen with or without us doing anything. I just had to accept that happening to us.

"Glad that's over," Dean said grinning.


	5. Chapter 5

Last chapter of this installment. There might be another story, there might not be. I'm not sure yet. I hope you all like it. Enjoy!

* * *

"Mr. Samuel Collins," a man said opening into the waiting room.

I looked up from my lap and took a deep breath. My nerves were getting the best of me right now. I wanted this job so much and I didn't know if I was going to be able to get it.

"Hello," I said standing up.

"Hello," he said smiling, "I'm Principle Lenny Craft."

"Mr. Craft," I said shaking his hand.

"You're here for the teaching position correct?" he asked sitting behind the desk.

"Yes," I said nodding.

"What are your qualifications?" he asked crossing his arms.

"Honestly," I said calmly, "I've never taught a class and I started to go to college for law, but I love English. I spent my whole school time studying it. All the books I read were college level and my teachers said that my writing was college level also."

My stomach started to do flips as I thought about how I barely had anything to offer this position but sheer will. I didn't think that would help much when teaching in a high school.

"No college classes," he said staring at me, "I'll make you a deal Mr. Collins. You take classes online for an English degree and I'll let you work here being monitored of course."

"Of course," I said smiling.

"This is only a trial," he said smiling back, "But we'll see what happens Mr. Collins. See you tomorrow at eight and I'll show you around."

"Thank you Mr. Craft," I said standing up.

"Good day," he said as I left.

Once I was out of his office I took a deep breath. Facing all the demons and spirits and other supernatural beings at once would have been easier to do then the interview. And least with them I knew where I stood.

Was it possible that was what was so drawing about hunting? You didn't need to question what was going on often. An evil being was out there hurting people and we had to stop it.

That was the balance. The world was full of evil humans, but it was also full of evil beings that could control the humans. Take out the beings then only the humans remain.

The law wasn't on their side sometimes and it was too easy to turn them around and make even the most innocent the worst people out there. Too many ways to trick someone into being hurt.

The sooner we got the evil beings out the sooner we could find out what was being done for them or just for humans sick, twisted minds. It was possible to give some sort of hope to people.

It might be naïve of me to think that, but I just wanted to see that there was actual good out there. Innocence that seemed to be disappearing in the world. Maybe I shouldn't believe that, but I did. I always had.

That was the difference between Dad and I. Between Dean and I. I wanted so badly to believe that people could still be good that I just questioned everything about our lives.

"How'd it go Sammy?" Dean asked when I got home.

"Good," I said grinning, "I got the job, sort of."

"Sort of?" he said confused.

"I have to have someone watching over me until I can prove I'm good enough," I said shrugging, "Also I have to take some classes to get an English degree."

"That's a good thing," he said slowly, "Right?"

"Yes," I said laughing.

"Good." he said going to the fridge, "Have a beer."

Grinning I took the beer from his hand and took a gulp. I missed this. Just talking to my brother. Sharing a beer. All that was missing was a good prank war. Although I hoped that didn't come.

"Cas came by earlier," Dean said calmly, "He said something about being ready at eight and he would come by for you."

"Alright," I said looking at the clock, "Well, it's only three now. What do you want to do until then?"

"Don't know," he said shrugging, "We don't have anything to do."

"Yeah," I said nodding, "Can't believe I miss doing research."

"I believe I miss making fun of you as you do research," he said smirking.

"Jerk," I said tackling him.

Dean let out a loud laugh and started to fight back. This is what it was like when we were younger and got bored. We'd practice our fighting skills and wait for Dad to tell us what to do next.

Dean and I fought for awhile until his cell phone started to ring. He got up and answered it while I looked back at the clock. It hadn't been that long since I looked at it before, but I wanted to know what Cas was going to tell me.

I walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. Turning on the TV as background noise I grabbed a few of my guns and started to clean them as slowly as I could.

"That was Bobby," Dean said sighing, "He found a case for us that needs to be taken care of quickly."

"What is it?" I asked looking up at him.

"He doesn't know for sure," he said putting the phone down, "But he's thinking maybe a Wendigo."

"Okay," I said nodding, "When do you want to go?"

"Now?" he asked shrugging, "It should be simple and we'll be back before you're thing with Cas."

"Sure," I said sighing.

We got together our gear and got into the Impala. The drive was quiet for the most part. I spent the time researching while Dean waited for me to find something that could help us.

Once I found where the Wendigo would be living. Luckily we weren't that far away from where it would be so it wouldn't take that long to find where it was. I just hoped it hadn't taken anyone.

"We're here," Dean said pulling over.

Getting out of the car we got our things and started to walk through the woods. I hoped that this was going to get over quickly and that we didn't have any bad injuries on this hunt.

We snuck into the cave once we had found it. It took awhile before we were able to get through some of the tunnels, but it did help the time pass which I was very glad for now.

"Doesn't look like it's home," Dean said quietly.

"Maybe this won't be easy," I said sighing.

"You'll make it Sam," he said calmly, "We just need to find it and kill it."

"Yeah," I said looking around, "Wait, what was that?"

Turning around quickly I tried to block my face as a clawed hand came out and hit me. I went flying backwards and hit my head on the side of the cave before everything went black.

"Sammy," a voice said quickly, "Come on. You got to wake up man. Cas. Castiel."

"Yes Dean?" Cas said calmly.

"I need you're help man," Dean said slightly panting, "I can't get him to wake up."

"He is up," he said softly, "I think he's just in too much pain."

"Then stop the pain," Dean said almost yelling.

"I can't," Cas said sighing, "Not anymore. Most of my powers are gone."

"Then help me get him into the Impala," Dean said angrily.

I felt arms wrap around me and lift me. A pain fill moan slipped from my lips as I went up. Dean said sorry quietly and started to walk. Luckily they walked as steadily as they could.

We got to the Impala fairly quickly and they loaded me into the backseat. Cas sat back with my head resting in his lap. My head was pounding as badly as when I had the visions and my chest felt like it was on fire.

"We're almost there," Cas said calmly, "Everything will be alright."

I want to smile at the way Cas was trying to reassure me. He sounds so calm and collected that I would have believed anything he told me. He probably would have convinced me if I hadn't felt the slight tremble in his hands.

Steeling myself for the pain that I knew would come I tried to open my eyes. A load groan left my lips when I finally got them open and was able to look into Cas's clear eyes.

"Cas," I said softly.

"Shh," Cas said running a hand through my hair, "Everything will be alright."

"I know," I said trying to smile though it probably looked more like a grimace, "I have a lot I have to do still."

"Right," he said nodding, "You got the job."

"I do," I said letting my eyes shut again, "More importantly I have to be with you."

"I'm glad that's important," he said smiling.

"It's the most important," I said softly, "That and annoying Dean."

"Bitch," Dean said loudly, "And don't get blood everywhere."

And that was all there was to it. My life was going to be filled with day of teaching and nights of hunting. I was in love with an angel and the apocalypse was coming. That was find though. As long as I still had Dean and Cas. I could survive.


End file.
